BUILD A BETTER BABY MED KIT

I am eventually going to get around to blogging “GO TO SHOWER GIFTS,” for all you Moms out there who, like me, like to stock up on this sort of thing so we’re not constantly running out to baby boutiques like crazy people.

But it’s still flu season — no, really, it is, and YOU CAN STILL GET A FLU SHOT — and my kids all have runny noses, and have been flirting with fevers, and that’s got me thinking about probably the hands-down funniest shower gift I ever got:

A MED KIT.

Yep. Diddy’s godmother welcomed her into the world not with clothes, not with gear, not with a fuzzy stuffed something, but with TWO SEPARATE MEDICAL KITS, one enormous bells-and-whistles kind, like this:

And one more modest, travel-sized variety, like this:

Clearly she thought I was going to kill the baby. Luckily for all of us, that isn’t as easy to do as it might seem. So, honestly, grateful as I was for the med kits —

I NEVER USED ANYTHING IN ANY OF THEM.

For one thing, the bulb syringes were just NO good. They had HUGE nozzles that went NOWHERE NEAR being able to fit in my tiny kids noses.

And I never used the thermometers, either, because call me squeamish, but I have real body memories of being a small kid with a thermometer up my butt, and I just don’t feel any real need to revisit that on my children. Thankfully medical technology has come a long way since then — did you see this amazing video of a 3D printer making an actual KIDNEY? It’s astounding. If they can do that, I can use a digital ear thermometer — just like my pediatrician does.

Nail clippers were useful — but come on, emery boards for tiny little peel-able infant nails? No thanks.

Pacifier medical dispensers? I’m ok with holding my kids down and using a liquid syringe. Which, by the way, if they don’t come with your Baby Tylenol and Pediacare, can be had for free, just by asking your pharmacist for them.

Gum massager? Call me lazy — I go for the Tylenol before I massage the gums. And those plastic teething rings don’t do much for me, either — I’d rather use something freezable, because the cold goes a long way to soothing sore gums.

Anyway, in an effort to clear out the kids’ medicine cabinet this week (pictures of that project tomorrow), I put together what I think is THE BEST “MED KIT ESSENTIALS” list I’ve seen — probably because I actually USE all the stuff on it, and have done for all four kids. And now I pass it to you!

ChecklistMommy’s REALLY USEFUL BABY MED KIT LIST.

Bulb Syringe Aspirator

The kind they give you at the hospital. In fact, don’t buy this. STEAL A FEW from the hospital.

Infant Saline Drops

Use to help loosen up stuffy noses.

Digital Ear Thermometer

Ease of use! Ease of use! Ease of use!

Ear Thermometer Sleeves

Don’t forget these! Most digital thermometers won’t work without them!

Infant Tylenol Acetaminopen (Infant Tylenol is CONSTANTLY being recalled)

For fevers and pain. Don’t be shy about medicating for pain. If you were in pain, you would want meds, wouldn’t you? (Coming soon: my cleaned-up version of Dr. Sear’s Acetaminophen Dosage Chart.)

Infant Motrin Ibuprofen

For pain and fevers. You want Motrin AND Tylenol because you can use them TOGETHER to medicate your baby MORE FREQUENTLY over time than you can using either of these medications on their own. (Coming soon: my cleaned-up version of Dr. Sear’s Ibuprofen Dosage Chart.)

Children’s Benadryl

For allergic reactions. You have no idea what your baby is allergic to until she has an allergic reaction — for Gaga, I never figured out what the culprit was, but she blew up and turned red while we were at the mall and I jetted across the street to CVS after a panicked phone call to my ped and dosed her right there on the checkout line and since then we have ALWAYS kept Benadryl in the house and in the diaper bag. (Coming soon: my cleaned-up version of Dr. Sear’s Diphenhydramine Dosage Chart.)

Baby Nail Clipper

Baby nails grow fast fast fast. If you’re anything like me, you will forget this. And then your kid will scratch himself. And then you’ll cut his nails. Rinse and repeat. (Also, keep cutting your kids’ nails as they grow! Diddy recently got into a sandbox scrum at school, and left a pretty bad-ass stripe across her classmate’s face, frighteningly near her eye. Which left the classmate looking way worse-for-wear than Diddy, even though I was told it was a pretty fair fight. Still, it left Diddy, unmarked, looking like the bad seed … which was no fun for me as I prostrated myself in front of the other kids’ thankfully-cool parent.)

Freezable Teething Apple

Best. Thing. Ever.

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